Tuesday, January 12, 2010


"And did you get what you wanted
 from this life,  even so?

I did.

And what did you want?

To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth."

— Raymond Carver

Kabul, Afghanistan 2008

As the snow began to softly fall last night, my brother quietly took his last breath. I had placed my hand gently on his chest and wasn't sure if I could feel his heart beating or the raging pulse in my own palm. A very humble end to a life still filled with endless love and countless adventure.

My Associate degree graduation, May 1983 ( I was 19, he was 18.)

If our life is complete, we live a life of body, soul and spirit. Death may steal our body and cease our soul, but it cannot destroy the spirit. There is comfort and strength in knowing it is only this life that has come to an end.

circa 1966 (?)

I have very few memories of my childhood that do not include my brother somewhere. We were born only 16 1/2 months apart. I think my mother always thought of us as an unit and treated us that way. We started our adult lives about the same time and started our families together as well.

Junior Prom, May 15, 1982

It will be strange to go forward in life without him. I know that life is inherently good and time will dull the pain. Yet, I also know that life will never be the same again... Good? Probably, but always different.

While my brother knew his life would be a brief one, my love for him will endure until my last breath. He was and will always be beloved.

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