Friday, August 19, 2011

thinking about my mom today

My mother would have turned 70 today.  Man, do I miss her.  There's times I wonder how that can even be possible. When I reflect on my relationship with her, I remember plenty of times she would frustrate me or even straight-up piss me off.  But she always loved me... unconditionally.  My mother was one of those people who had a hard time telling you what was good about you.  You would always hear from someone else that she was bragging on you or showing off pictures of your kids.  I tell my kids I love them all the time because I want them to hear it from me.

Mom probably circa 1947
(One of my favorite pictures of my mother.  She had a tough childhood but she looks very innocent and happy here.  The photo was probably taken by my grandfather, who was an amateur photographer.)

My mother had a big heart and was happiest when she was hosting some get-together in her home.  There were five of us growing up in that house and every occasion was peppered with a host of girl/boy friends, later followed by spouses and kids, relatives and family friends.  I like to think that hospitality is one of my better qualities and that, if it's possible, I inherited it from my mother.  (Or at the very least, learned by example.) Since I now live in the same house that she raised her family in, I feel a special connection with her when I host a get-together.  When my parents celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary, they did a big formal dinner but they also had a huge celebration in their backyard.  The same backyard in which Countrymouse and I celebrated our 25th anniversary.  For us (and for my parents, I suspect), we couldn't think of a better way to celebrate than gathered around the people we love in our home.  I only wish she could have been there to share the day with us.
 
Dad and Mom 25th Anniversary 1984

 (I love this photo of my parents. They look genuinely happy. And I love how tightly my dad is squeezing my mom's arm. Too sweet.)

I suppose most mother-daughter relationship suffer some strain and stress over the years.  (Since I only have sons, I get to dodge that bullet on the mother end of things.)  For as many not-so-perfect memories I have of my mother, I have scads more good ones.  I'm thankful for that.  I am also thankful to have spent 45 years with this wonderful woman and to be the woman she helped shape. 

Goofing around with Mom and my sisters.  Family reunion 2007.

(Sorry about the "Johnny Cash" pose. (I tried to make it nice.) We were being silly.  Alcohol was involved.  Enough said.)

So tonight, I will spend time with people I love and raise a glass to my mom and celebrate all that she was and all that she continues to be for those people whose lives she touched.  And I will remember this...





4 comments:

  1. this sucks and i'm really sorry. :(

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  2. You are a blessed to have had a true mothers love. Thanks for sharing your special memories and photos, they are fantastic. Sometimes I wonder if it was a societal thing that parents back then did not see a need to voice their love of their children.

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  3. Oh, so sweet. Love that one of your mom and dad together too.

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  4. A beautiful tribute, tears to my eyes though as my Mum died in June, so I am still feeling a little low at times.

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